To understand how God pulled me out of the woods.
You need to know how I put myself there (at least a part of it)..
My journey into the woods started as a child; I need to firstly point out that I do not hold anyone responsible for my entry into the woods.
I take full responsibility
I officially embarked on the journey in secondary school when I wanted to explored with cigarettes out of curiosity.
I was later introduced into Marijuana ssmoking by a more senior student.
It was a Sunday afternoon and I was just in SS1, I did everything I was told by this senior and he said it would make me cool.
I asked is it going to be a harmless exploration? to avoid any damage, he told me yes, i think thats what the devil want me to believe.
Two Sundays later, It wasn’t a visiting day (I attended a boarding school) but my mum decided to pay me a visit, I was sitting on the fence with a classmate of mine pretending to take a poop while we kept practicing how to smoke.
I was caught by the then Head Boy who was sent by my mum to get me, I had to bribe myself out of that situation.
Before the term ended I had almost started smoking so when I got home for holidays and started mingling with guys I thought were the happening folks in the environment I stayed, I didn’t know at some point I had lost the first battle in my mind, It gradually became an everyday thing I would look forward to, I couldn’t talk about it with anyone, I’d get beaten to death and resurrected by my mum, so that kept me harmlessly exploring further, then cigarettes became marijuana, and marijuana brought alcohol and prescription drugs, just around the corner was cocaine( I tried this around 2011) and there was also illicit sex.
The more I tasted it, the more I wanted a different high, I hated being sober, the reality wasn’t something I could handle, plus there was always the thought that I wouldn’t amount to anything and I didn’t like the thought so I always wanted to float, day dream and not handle any of these.
it cost me my job, it cost me lots of things, if I didn’t get money for the next high, I could sell off anything, I literally sold off gadgets and pawned off expensive items including clothes and shoes just so I could get high/float, when there was nothing to sell, I would steal. I would steal even fuel from my house and sell to bike men in order to maintain or afford a high.
I got caught several times, I was beaten, stripped naked, my picture made several WhatsApp groups. I was excommunicated from my estate and home.
It cost me relationships and attracted me further into a restrictive circle of addicts, we all needed help and the drugs led us to believe that well it was helping, I had a family who loved me, but they never talked to me about it, and if and when they did it was always with condemning tones and threats and I really don’t hold much on them, I guess they thought that was love… It got to a point I was told I’d be cut off if I didn’t check into a rehab, I obliged just to please them, three months after rehab I was out, three days later I attended a party and I was back into the vicious circle again…
Gradually it got worse than before as I only was ready to explore and curious as my mind was it was untrained and without a leash…
I got back into the estate, my family rented me a good apartment, I got a good job with prospects, but drugs were still a very serious part of my life, I remember I cried several times saying God this isn’t my life, this isn’t what you created me for, I’m hurting, I’m hurting people… Please help me…… but right after that I’d go back to a smoke and alcohol and the circle got worse
I lost the job needless to say
In 2019 God started to set me up for his rescue…
I stole again in the same estate, I was a wanted fellow, but God hid me, he snuck me out of the estate on the night I would have been arrested and maybe killed
I got to my friends place but the circle would only reintroduce itself again, I met the same kind of folks, I got exposed to more dangerous drugs, eventually I started stealing again to keep up
I got a job but I couldn’t maintain it because of how deep I had gone
November 2019 my friend kicked me out of his house, I moved into an uncomplete building just down the street, I would go days without a shower, just looking for what to steal just to get a high… I started to stink, decay this would go on until 2020 July.
During the Lockdown, There was a church outreach, I know God ordered their steps, they gave me food, and prayed for me, and I told them I needed help or I’d most likely end up killing myself.
During the Lockdown, I read Mrs. Esther’s book (Something about scars)
I called her, told her I needed help
Honestly I ran from her at some point, I don’t know why,
One day she called me, I was shocked, I somehow felt the love flow from our conversation, but I still ran away from her. I know she prayed for me, I know she did and people prayed for me. But I was still in the woods.
One of the church brothers that spoke to me during the outreach took special interest in me, and invited me to his house one day to pray…
I avoided him for a while until I eventually went, not for the prayer but to lie and get some money just to get high, we prayed, and I cried my soul out there in the dining section.
He gave me the money and I went back to smoke
But something happened, I started hearing from God, because during that time of praying, I kept asking God to help me and take it all away from me, which he did, a few days later I stole a batch of drugs from my drug supplier and I was banned from coming to the place, God was setting me up to never go there again, so I stayed more in my house, reflected more on rare occasions I would find myself sober
Unknown to me, the Holy Spirit had been working on me from the inside, I started to hate drugs, I had almost 100k worth of drugs and would just smoke till it started to disgust me, one day after praying with this brother of mine, God spoke to me, I heard him, he told me he loved me and was ready to take the addiction away. He told me son I would take them away but you have to do something, He gave me instructions to clear out my room as it had become a drug zone for all sorts of people and addicts.
Because this brother was always coming around to check on me, and just pray and gist, love was filtering in, I was scared of hurting him or losing him, he never condemned me or judged and even when I asked for money and he knew I would smoke he would still give me, then there was a family beside my house that he introduced me to, they would just help me in prayers, they never judged, and they sometimes sold food items to me on credit, God started taking care of me, there were times when I stumbled but not longer than a few hours, Prayers was being offered on my behalf, one night God told me, see these people I bring into your life, they are to help you get out, so you better not mess it up, somewhere along the line I knew this was God giving me a lifeline, couldn’t afford to lose it, he told me to make sure I cleaned my room as it was henceforth going to be a place where we met every day to pray and fellowship, he gave me a deadline to make sure no drugs were found in my room, and stop everyone from using my room as a spot for drugs, it wasn’t easy but I told them, and gave them the deadline, they couldn’t come to my house anymore… I don’t know how I obeyed but I found myself obeying.
With each passing day, I got closer and closer to God, I started to live in the freedom he gave me and now I can boldly say
Hallelujah!!! God safely brought me out of the woods
In all of these things
Love found me
Love rescued me
Love never judged me
Love protected me
Love is still working on me
I have been clean since August 2020
No drugs
No alcohol
Just the word of God and the Holy Spirit.
There have been temptations, but love. God’s love has held me firm, it’s not letting me go, neither am I.